How to talk to your kids about results

November 24, 2020

Dear Parents,

We know that PSLE results are being released tomorrow, so we just wanted to check in with you! Before thinking about grades and schools, how do you feel? What's on your mind?

Take one deep breath right now, and sit with your thoughts and feelings for just a moment...

You might be stressed or nervous. Perhaps you've been anxiously anticipating today for weeks, browsing schools and making back-up plans.

Maybe your priority is emphasising to your kids that no matter what, this isn't the end of the world – they are more than just their score.

Some of you might be feeling pretty calm, not too worried, since your child has always been a steady student.

It could even be a mix of all of the above!

Although you weren't the one sitting for these exams, you were still walking with your child the whole way through. Your hopes and fears, your disappointment and relief, are all valid.

Pause and make room to talk about feelings before jumping to the "practical" next steps.

We encourage you to make room for feelings – both yours and your child's – as you receive and process their PSLE results. That means creating a space just to identify, express, and understand feelings, without jumping to the "practical" next steps of discussing or applying for schools.

This could be as simple as saying...

Your child might not know exactly what they are feeling just yet. Or, if they're experiencing mixed feelings (which is often the case for big life events), they might be having a hard time articulating each of them because some feel contradictory.

For example: "I feel relieved that it's over... but disappointed at my Science score... and happy because my English results were better than expected... but sad because I won't go to the same school as my best friend."

Remember: all feelings are valid!

That means you can accept and affirm what your child is feeling, even if the emotion is "not optimistic", "not useful", or seems "too strong" of a reaction to you.

Don't deny, trivialise, or judge how your child is feeling! Avoid saying things such as...

Even if you don't agree with what they feel, or feel differently about the situation, you can still say...

No matter how you or your child might be feeling about PSLE, this is a unique and rich opportunity for you to be there for your child, understand them better, and lay another stone in the foundation of your relationship.

Wishing you and your families the best of luck!

Yours truly,
The Bramble Team

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